One of the hardest, yet most important, things you will tackle when planning a wedding is confirming the guest list. A fight will inevitably ensue between the couple...the parents...and even the future in-laws. It's the nasty necessary evil of wedding planning...but, your guest list will dictate your budget, venue, and essentially every other detail down the road so confirming that little list should be one of the first things you do.
Here are a couple tips that will take that mundanely challenging task to moderately enjoyable:
1. Have a serious conversation with your fiance about your wedding day visions and expectations. You don't have to make detail decisions now...but you do need to decide if an intimate shindig or elaborate soiree is the best celebration of your love. Starting on the same page is key. Remember, this is a celebration of you as a couple...let your couple style shine!
2. Reach out to everyone that will be contributing {i.e. all sets of parents, etc.} and ask them to submit their preliminary lists. Make sure everyone knows the wedding vision you and your fiance have because if you are dreaming of an intimate, backyard wedding for 30 and your starting list is over 300...you might have a bigger hill to climb than most. Be clear and confident when expressing your desires. {When trying to remember everyone for your list, Facebook is really a great tool to scour. Take a journey through your friends list and ask your families to do the same!}
3. Combine the lists into a spreadsheet and let the fun begin! Sit down with your future hubs and categorize each name. We suggest a bottle of wine and the following:
-The "A List". These guests are your immediate families, your wedding party and your closest friends. You will absolutely DIE if these individuals aren't present for the big day. You might even consider changing your date for them since they are SO important. They are, without question, a must invite!
-The "B List". These guests are your distant family members and dear friends. You would love for them to attend your wedding but if something happened and they couldn't, you would live and continue to celebrate merrily.
-The "C List". These guests are your acquaintances, your friends of friends, your mother's aunt's fifteenth cousin removed (is that even a thing?). These are the people you completely forgot about until you ran into them at the grocery store and they congratulated you on your engagement. Yes, you know them...but really, do they need an invite to the wedding?
- The "Blah List". Ok, don't judge...we all have them. The people you know wouldn't come to your wedding if it was in their backyard, but if you don't invite them, they will make your mother's experience at church every Sunday from here on out simply awful. We understand...tag them as "blah"!
4. While you are categorizing your list, also think about the likelihood of attendance and start your estimated guest count. This digit will determine your budget, venue, etc. Every vendor you meet with and book will ask for this number. Yes, you could always rely on the traditional formula that 75-80% of your guest list will attend...but every wedding is different. Really think about your family and friends and customize your estimation that way.
5. Yay or Nay to kiddos? Having children at a wedding can be adorable but it can also be a challenge. Think about the type of wedding you are envisioning, your venue, your typical wedding guest and your budget (children will count towards your guest count). Would it be appropriate? If so, invite away! If not, be purposeful with your invitation wording to politely suggest "adults only".
6. On that same note, another challenge can be the "plus one" situation. Some of your single friends will expect the opportunity to bring a date and others will not even consider bringing a tag-along because of all your hot and single bridesmaids/groomsmen! Our suggestion is to offer the "plus ones" when appropriate because, once again, those dates will count towards your guest count and contribute to your wedding vision.
7. Before you start sending out save-the-dates or invitations, sit down with those contributing to your wedding once again and talk about your categorized list. Discuss the wedding vision again and cut/finalize the list to fit. Since the list is categorized and prioritized, it will be easier to make those decisions. We suggest another bottle of wine because after this conversation, it's time to celebrate...because your guest list is done!
8. Oh no, you just ran into someone NOT on the final guest list and they are asking about your wedding...what to do, what to do??? Keep Calm and Smile on! The best description of your wedding is now "we are so excited to have an intimate celebration of our marriage". Intimate indicates that you had to be selective of your guest count.
As this process unfolds, please keep in mind that this is YOUR day and a celebration of YOUR love. Whoever will make that celebration perfect and memorable is all that should be included on your guest list...because that is all that matters. Bernard Baruch said it best...
"Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind"
Best of luck! If you have specific questions or need a little help with your planning, feel free to email us at trulyhaute@gmail.com.
